Emotions.

Josh Chinn Quality Blog Post #..4?

Today we visited the Mathare slum. I realize that after visiting the nicer slum yesterday, I was in complete shock as I wrote my post last night. Today, I began to really comprehend and understand everything the people go through, and those thoughts ran through my head as we visited one of the worst slums in the world. I learned that numbers are more than just numbers, and facts are more than just facts. I now can put names, faces, images and people to those facts. I can see the poverty people live in rather than just imagining it and calculating the numbers in my mind.

After driving for less than 30 mins from our lodge, we reached the Mathare slum. As we drove in, I saw kids with their pants down, pooping in garbage in public and then waving to us. To them, relieving themselves in the trash right outside their homes is natural. At first, I thought it was cute how 4 and 5 year olds waved to us while ignoring the fact that their pants were down, but then I became hurt as I realized that they know no better. As we got off the bus, we met the pastor who decided to take us on a tour of the Mathare slum. This is where my heart became broken. This is where I could feel my life changing.

Less than 50 steps in to the slum, I could smell and feel the garbage and waste in the air. It was dusty and it reeked more than anything (I'd know, I'm a teenage boy and I go to the bathroom). We continued walking and I realized what a "nicer slum" was. Yesterday, I walked through large roads with people in small huts made of corrugated metal. I was stunned at their living conditions. Today, I walked through houses of cardboard and metal sheets, with pathways no larger than two metres wide. Each pathway had a river running through it, except the "river" was not made of clean, or even semi-dirty water. In fact, the river wasn't really even water. They were made of urine and feces. It broke my heart to see kids running and playing so close to the "river". It was even tougher when I realized minutes later that every single person in the slum lives with that river right outside his or her door.

I can't really explain the emotions that have been/are running through me. I feel sadness when I see how many kids live in these terrible conditions. The life expectancy is barely 50. Kids with sicknesses can rarely be healed; Little children with diseases can't be cured so easily. As I walked through I was speechless and thought in my mind "How can I be so darn selfish and greedy? How do I live the way I have lived?" If you've read other's blog posts, you've heard that for $25 dollars, you can feed 300+ children for a day. For 5 lattes, or a trip to Red Robin, or two tickets for a movie, or.. the list goes on forever. Yet for the $5 and 30 minutes of White Chocolate Mocha temporary happiness you can get from drinking a latte, you can feed 300 children their only meal in a day. I feel so angry when I look at my life. I feel critical of so many actions I do and things I have. I know it'll be tough traveling back home and I'll have my moments (probably many) where I feel enraged and critical of others, but I know that God will help me send the message to others so that they can understand my feelings even though they haven't been in the position I am now.

Today was still a fun day- we got to perform our VBS skit in front of the kids and we had a worship set. The VBS skit was so fun, all of the kids jumped when Brendon, Garrett and I roared at them. The worship set was a challenge, it was all acoustic (no electricity outlet) and it was extremely hot and humid inside the chapel. I was sweating after standing in there for 2 minutes, and then I volunteered to lead the kids in hand motions for the songs. At first I thought it was a mistake. Jumping up and down to show the kids how to praise God and dance to the song "One Way" was a burden at first, but when I saw how the kids reacted and how much they loved it, I was energized. After One Way, the whole team came and helped out show kids hand motions. My favorite was the song "Every Move I Make"because there is this one motion where you put your arms up kinda like when you shrug the "Idunno" shrug and I tried to get kids to do a head motion and a couple actually did. I felt so victorious, it was fantastic.

Sadly, we had to leave and we took pictures with kids and spent a few last minutes with them, but then we came to our lodge where we had time to reflect and rest. Some people (i.e. Me, TrErika, Shawn, Matt, John, and Bekah) were sitting in the hangout area until Brendon rushed in with a bag of oreo cookies without the frosting asking if anybody wanted em. We had a funny talk and John said that he didn't want em, but he'd take em if Trenton had bitten the frosting out.

After dindin, we had a long debreifing sesh and many of us discussed our feelings. Everything that was said was so true. People felt sad, angry, guilty, confused, and more. It was so hard to hear all the stories we had heard and seen and not feel the emotions other's had felt. Today was a tough day emotionally and mentally but I feel like I grew a lot and I'm really challenged to make a difference in other's lives, here and back home.

Until next time,
Joshie